Marmite the Dog

The Barbican – Soi Thaniya, Silom - http://www.greatbritishpub.com



The Barbican is not like most other generic British bars in that it doesn’t try to pretend that it’s old and made from old English oak. The décor is both warm and modern, especially the lower seating area, which is great for watching the comings and goings outside the Japanese bars opposite. It attracts a good mix of ex-pats and well to do locals, who enjoy the excellent menu and good selection of beers.

Old Speckled Hen, Guinness, Kilkenny, Strongbow.

Good food, beer & décor.

Occasionally the service can be very slow.


Black Swan - Sukhumvit Road, Nr Asoke BTS - http://www.blackswanbkk.com



The Black Swan opened late 2004; I actually walked in as they were installing the TV and unfortunately for me, they hadn’t got the kitchen going. The décor has been done quite well, but there’s still no attempt to break away from the lessons learnt in ‘British Pub Décor – 101’. So what you get is a lot of wood. There’s live music and food, now that the kitchen is working pretty good food.

Guinness, John Smith's & Kilkenny.

Clean & Good breakfasts.

Little atmosphere.


Bobby's Arms – Silom Soi 4



Well, the new Bobbys is surprisingly an even more depressing place than the old one.

The bar is above Cafe De Paris and for those who need other references its opposite Cleopatras gogo. One problem is that, if you blink, you will miss the entrance as the stairs up are towards the back of CDP and the tables and chairs camoflage the route.

Bobby will really need to do something to make everyone more aware of where it is and change the entrance to get more folk in, otherwise it will continue to have the atmosphere of the Marie Celeste. -- Thanks to Bluffer

John Smith's.

Longer 'Happy Hour'.

Even worse than the old place.


British Club – Silom Soi 18 - http://www.britishclubbangkok.org



If you’re a chap with a bored missus and a couple of hyperactive kids, the monthly membership would be well worth it. Situated in a private compound just off Silom Road,the British Club really is an oasis of calm in the chaos of Bangkok. For the active there are tennis courts, squash courts, a swimming pool and a rugby team. For the not so active there are snooker tables and a golf club. There is a posh restaurant that also does ‘proper’ curry buffets and a nice bar with a good range of beers on tap.

Guinness, Kilkenny & Old Speckled Hen.

Facilities, beer, escape.

Membership fees & I’ve never seen so many Western women since I was in Australia.


Bull’s Head – Sukhumvit Soi 33/1 - http://www.greatbritishpub.com



Generally recognised as the British Pub in Bangkok, the Bull’s Head has it all; a good manager (Billy), dodgy wood panelling, good beer, good affordable food, and friendly waiting staff. It also hosts the Punchline Comedy Club, which brings comedians from back home to the heart of Bangkok for your giggling pleasure.

Old Speckled Hen, Guinness, Kilkenny & Strongbow.

People, beer & food.

Dodgy DJ & dodgy live (almost) music.


Chequers – Sukhumvit Soi 4



The Chequers is a small bar located just down the street from the Nana Plaza, and along with Jool’s Bar, seems to be the equivalent of the ‘Washington Square style bar’ for UK (s)ex-pats. I actually went in here once with an ex-SAS (honest Guv!) chap, who later told me about one fellow in there who was going to deck me if I hadn’t had my ‘protection’. Hmm. Some people seem to like this place, but its not the first place that springs to mind when I need a beer. The food is fairly good, especially if you're into cholesterol.

Guinness & Old Speckled Hen.

Food.

Dodgy clientele.


The Dubliner – Corner of Sukhumvit & Washington Square - http://www.dublinerasia.com



The Dubliner is a full on Oirish Pub that has been around for a while now. It boasts three floors – two for eating and drinking and one for pool & darts. They have Irish bands playing live downstairs (which gets on my nerves, as I can’t stand it) sometimes and show live sport on the big screen TV. The menu is excellent, but a tad pricey.

Old Speckled Hen, Strongbow, Guinness & Kilkenny.

Excellent food, and it's a nice place to while away a few hours.

Slow service, pricey food, Irish bloody music.


Gulliver’s Tavern – Sukhumvit Soi 5 – http://www.gulliverbangkok.com



Competing with the Londoner for floor space, Gulliver’s has quickly established itself as a favourite place to watch the footy on a Saturday night. Generally, the atmosphere is pretty good, but you occasionally have to put up with some idiot in a Chelsea shirt telling all the other c**ts to “f**k off� – nice! There’s a load of pool tables and a load of freelancers if you fancy a take-away. As well as the usual beers, they stock a small range of German beers, which if you have any taste, is infinitely preferable to the locally produced excuse for beer. The menu is not worth getting excited about, but its cheap & cheerful – enough to fill a hole when you’re a bit squiffy.

Guinness & some Cherman stuff.

German beer, decent atmosphere.

Average food, Chelsea supporters.


Jool’s Bar – Sukhumvit Soi 4



It’s a similar operation to The Chequers, being a single shop house in size. The food portions are generous, and Jool’s is famous for its breakfasts. It’s also famous for being the bar that Stephen Leather based ‘Fatso’s’ on in his novel Private Dancer. The staff are friendly, and the the regulars don't seem likely to be mates with Andy MacNab.

Only local crap.

Atmosphere, VFM.

Poor choice of beers.


Londoner Brew Pub – Basement of UBC II Building, Sukhumvit Soi 33 – http://www.the-londoner.com



The Londoner is a massive space underneath a Bangkok tower block. When empty you can have minutes of fun with echoes, but when full the place has a nice buzz to it. One bizarre thing about the Londoner is that they have a live band on Saturday nights, when I’m sure most people would rather watch and hear the footy, but I guess David the owner knows best… The crowd is a mix of pasty folks, Indians & Thais, which means that it’s generally quite relaxed, as the oiks tend to drink elsewhere. The menu offers a decent selection of food, but it is a little pricey. The food gets mixed reviews; for example, I really like the Cornish pasty, but Bangkok Phil thinks it sucks. The Sunday carvery is fairly good though. As the name says, the Londoner is a brew pub. It brews a ‘bitter’ and a ‘pilsner’. The pils is quite a nice drink and pretty good value too, especially during their ‘2 for 1’ happy hours. The bitter on the other hand is bloody awful. They don’t sell Guinness, Old Speckled Hen or Kilkenny, so if you’re after something more than the local beers offer, I’d go for the pils, or find another pub.

Their own Pilsner.

Carvery, Cornish pasty, atmosphere when full.

Bitter, Cornish pasty, atmosphere when not full.


Offshore Bar – Sukhumvit Soi 23



‘The only genuine chippy in Thailand!’ I had to include this, more as a British institution, rather than a bona-fide British bar. To be honest, unless you’re pissed, the chips are pretty poor, the women ugly and the other punters a pain in the arse! Of course, when you are pissed the food is great, the women sexy and the other punters are your best mates!

Only local crap.

Great when pissed.

Grim when sober.


The Old Dutch – Sukhumvit Soi 23

OK, this isn’t very British either, but it is getting more so, now that it’s owned by one of my countrymen. Always popular with tourists getting up courage before they dip their toes into the seedy underworld of Soi Cowboy, it often gets full. They’ve updated the menu to include a better approximation of an English breakfast, but the food prices have inceased, too.

Guinness.

Decent food, good place to people-watch.

Not too much wrong with it.


O’Reilly’s – Corner of Soi Thaniya, Silom – http://oreillysbangkok.com



O’Reilly’s is probably the most ‘plastic’ of the Irish pubs in Bangkok and I had my first pint of Malaysian Guinness here. The clientele seems to be made of tourists seeking to escape the heat and pollution for a while before heading back out. The menu is pretty good though and not too pricey (if I remember correctly). The beer garden is nicely situated out on the polluted street, but now and again the occasional foolhardy person can be seen there. Unfortunately, O’Reilly’s also features the awful one man band that the Bull’s Head also has. The service can sometimes be a bit ‘hit and miss’.

Guinness, Kilkenny & John Smiths.

Decent food.

Poor atmosphere, below average staff.


The Robin Hood – Corner of Sukhumvit Soi 33/1



The Robin Hood is another new addition to the British pub scene, or actually English pub scene as they are calling themselves. Inside is fairly nice and there’s a big screen TV for the footy on Saturday nights. Sadly, the menu is pretty boring (good chips though). As you enter, you should be given an airgun, so you can attract the attention of the staff, who have made ‘customer avoidance’ an art form. The manager is as clued up as a Chav running a nuclear submarine and the owner is just plain arrogant. With the Bull’s Head, Londoner and the Dubliner in close proximity, I can see no reason to visit this one at all.

Guinness, Kilkenny & John Smiths.

Good chips.

Poor staff & management.


The Ship Inn - Sukhumvit Soi 23



This is another small shop house bar, but this time near to The Soi, rather than The Plaza. The last time I visited the staff were pretty useless and needed prodding with a stick before they got their noses out of whatever exotic culinary delight from Isaan they happened to be eating. The menu features all the usual British pub fayre, but be warned, despite what the menu says, everything is either fried or microwaved. So if you order grilled fish, it will be fried. If you order pies, they will be soggy. The last time I ate there the food had taken a stunning dive in my estimation, to the point where I can't eat here anymore. Even the breakfast has been ruined because I can't help worrying why the sausages taste like they've been soaked in vinegar. As is often the case with smaller bars, the beer is locally brewed.

Only local crap.

Central location.

Service, dirty, food & beer.


The Toby Jug – Silom, Nr. Sala Deng BTS.



I included this because it advertises itself as a British Pub, but like the Ship, the only this British about it is the standard fare on the menu. The few customers look ready to top themselves and there is not a decent beer to be had here. I vote this the worst British Pub in Bangkok.

Pants!

Decent pub tucker.

Everything.


Witches Tavern – Soi Thong Lo, between 8 & 10.



This place is one of the oldest British style pubs in Bangkok (apparently). It used to sport lovely Chesterfield sofas in the reasonably sized ground floor area. Than, a couple of years ago, they refitted it, placing a huge oval bar in the centre and replacing the Chesterfields with less memorable seating. The Witches Tavern’s main draw is the excellent music that features every night. They also provide decent, but pricey food and Guinness & Kilkenny. Saturday night sees a decent sized crowd of regulars, and Wednesday night is ladies’ night, which gets pretty busy, too.

Guinness, Kilkenny, John Smiths.

Good live music, ladies night.

Stupid centre bar.


The Winking Frog – Sukhumvit Soi 7 http://www.thewinkingfrog.com



The Winking Frog has been open a wee while now and has started attracting a regular crowd. Another small one shop house unit, this place at least makes an effort and sells the cheapest Guinness in town 139฿ during happy hour. They have the usual pool table and big screen TV for the footy. The food is typical pub grub, but ok, and they’re open from 9am if you fancy an English breakfast or Thai soggy rice with curried fish heads.

Guinness.

Cheap Guinness.

Virtually empty on a Saturday night.


Irish X-Change – Soi Convent – http://irishxchange.com



I think this is the third name for this place after Delaney’s & Shenanigans. Once again, it’s another generic Oirish pub, but this one has a difference; a lethal iron, spiral staircase that will take half your head off if you’re not looking where you’re going after one too many. The menu is OK, but you have to select your vegetables separately, and this adds to the price (as does the VAT and service charge). The breakfast for 300฿ (plus VAT & whatever else they feel like) is bloody good though. It gets pretty busy in here, so the place does get quite lively. Much better than O’Reilly’s over the other side of Silom, I reckon.

Guinness, Kilkenny & Old Speckled Hen.

Breakfast, Guinness, Kilkenny & Old Speckled Hen.

Extra charges, pricey food.


Ye Olde Bell – Soi 1, Sukhumvit Soi 11



An interesting one this; again there’s enough wood to build a forest, but I quite like it. They serve the obligatory Guinness (I do believe it was only 100฿ during happy hour) and Kilkenny and they've got a pretty good menu that manages to steer clear of the usual stodge served in many pubs. The atmosphere is pretty good and the lights are dim, so your 'new friend' will stay attractive for a few hours longer. The service is good too, with attentive and attractive waitresses (I'd like to give the bar manager one, too).

Guinness & Kilkenny.

Good menu & atmosphere.

Nothing really.