Thread: Rules for BBQing

I stole this from another forum of which I'm a member, and while it doesn't work this way in my house...I'm betting that if you're a BBQ guy this is the way it works in your house, doesn't it.

BBQ RULES
If you haven’t charred some flesh recently it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, (probably because there is an element of danger involved.) When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. He then announces that we should do it again soon!
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

Originally Posted by Cyrille

Does anyone on this planet believe that life is actually like that description in the OP?

Even as a joke it was outmoded in about 1980.

If you're married to a Western woman maybe. But this seems pretty spot on to alot of Farang/Asian marriages that I've seen.

When I started BBqing with my Thai family it didn't work this way either, as my lady had no idea how to prepare the food for grilling. I still do the sauces and the marinades, but other than that...this is pretty close to how it goes in our family. I'm not being chauvinistic. She likes to take care of me. And I like to be taken care of.

We have a partnership so at other times I am the one doing the taking care of thing.

Here in Korea I grill alone, sadly. But I do love having a Weber again.

Rule number one should be understanding the difference between grilling and BBQ.

Originally Posted by champagne charlie

Rule number one should be understanding the difference between grilling and BBQ.

I hate to tell you this, boys, but the term barbecue for what you term grillin' isn't an Americanism for huge slabs of beef for 'real men'. Hell, if you pulled into a restaurant in Tennessee, Kentucky or Alabama and ordered barbecue, you'd probably not even recognize what they brought out to you.

Check out the etymology of barbecue and you'll see it comes from the Southern US, prior to the Civil War. I'd be willin' ta bet that my barbecueing is every bit as authentic as what you seem to think is barbecueing.

I'm tired of this lexical war over this term. Grow up.

^ OUCH!

Hard to imagine things getting this heated over 'fry' vs 'sauté.