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Thread: Cooking For Idiots.

  1. #1
    Regular User Array Robin Hood's Avatar
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    Recipes Cooking For Idiots.

    Living in Thailand for such a long time, I now feel that if I eat another Pad Krapao, I'm gonna kill someone.....

    I'm not a masterchef but I can put together some basic farang foodstuffs. If you have any easy recipes, please post them here for me.

    Here is my contribution.


    Tuna Pasta


    Ingredients


    2 tins of chunky tuna

    A bag of Pasta shells

    Mayo

    Carrot

    Sweetcorn

    Onion

    Apple

    Red/Yellow/Green/Peppers

    Pepper


    Method


    Open a bag of pasta shells, cook the lot. Let them go cool and then put them in the fridge

    Then cut the apple, onion and peppers into small pieces.

    Find a grater and grate the carrot.

    Throw it all into a very big bowl.

    Add the sweetcorn, too.

    Drain the two cans of tuna and put them in the bowl.

    Get the pasta out the fridge and add it to the mix in the bowl. Give it a good old stir.

    Then, get the mayo and put generous helpings into the mix . The creamier, the better! Add some pepper for taste.

    Once again, a good old stir.

    Put it all back in the fridge for a couple of hours.

    Eat cold.....It's fantastic!!!!

    When I say a big bowl, I really do mean it. This feeds many.
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    2 slices of bread.
    slather one with peanut butter(extra crunchy)
    smear the other with jam(strawberry)
    put the 2 slices together.
    enjoy with an ice cold glass of milk

    one of my all time favorites

  3. #3
    Möbius Strip Tease Array Anna Key's Avatar
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    ^ Le Butte dé la Jam (sans Peanut Buerre) was a staple of mine as a kid.
    "Take this, brother; may it serve you well."

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    i love french food. esprecially their fries.

  5. #5
    Möbius Strip Tease Array Anna Key's Avatar
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    Chips. From t'chippy.

    I did some pretty darn good chips in a wok just last week. I went a bit Heston on 'em. Par-boiled, dried, fried twice with a long gap in between.

    Spuds are so unreliable here. I don't mean availability, the flavour. I had some normal looking spuds from Big C that tasted a bit sweet. Go back a week later, the spud has changed. No consistency. Not a real complaint as such just an observation.

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    ^what kind of oil are you using ??

  7. #7
    Möbius Strip Tease Array Anna Key's Avatar
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    I confess - just the usual shitty stuff that's everywhere. Is it palm oil? I'm not sure. It's not good though. Not horrible, but it ain't beef dripping.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array Beavis's Avatar
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    Mama noodles

    -Open lid but don't tear it all the way off (you'll need it later).

    -Dump in seasoning and gooey stuff.

    -Fill cup to the line with hot water (7-11 has hot water).

    -Close lid again, secure with thumb as it will reopen on its own. Wait three minutes (or however long you feel like, either way its gonna suck).

    -Remove lid and comsume with shitty plastic spoon provided.

    -Wash down unsatisfied feeling with shit-tasting Thai beer.

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  10. #9
    Möbius Strip Tease Array Anna Key's Avatar
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    Pot Noodles - Beef and Tomato 'flavour' weren't bad.

  11. #10
    Watchinu Array Mister T's Avatar
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    Try the rice bran oil anna, I do my chips the same way you do, so the oil could be the difference.

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  13. #11
    poltroon and blagard Array reinvented's Avatar
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    cheese
    on tits ala lasher
    Serial Wolf Bagger

  14. #12
    Senior Member Array tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robin Hood View Post
    Open a bag of pasta shells, cook the lot. Let them go cool and then put them in the fridge

    Then cut the apple, onion and peppers into small pieces.

    Find a grater and grate the carrot.

    Throw it all into a very big bowl.

    Add the sweetcorn, too.

    Drain the two cans of tuna and put them in the bowl.

    Get the pasta out the fridge and add it to the mix in the bowl. Give it a good old stir.

    Then, get the mayo and put generous helpings into the mix . The creamier, the better! Add some pepper for taste.

    Once again, a good old stir.

    Put it all back in the fridge for a couple of hours.

    Eat cold.....It's fantastic!!!!

    When I say a big bowl, I really do mean it. This feeds many.
    ...*sigh* where to begin?...

    some suggestions:

    1) use the highest quality pasta you can find and avoid overcooking
    2) finely chop some green onions and mince 2-3 cloves of garlic, add to bowl
    3) roughly chop any variety of herbs you can find: mint, coriander, Thai basil, etc, add to bowl
    4) locally available tuna isn't very good (ironically, as Chicken of the Sea...a Thai-owned company...sells very good albacore tuna in the States); substitute left-over chicken, seafood, roast pork etc, add to bowl
    5) chop some local veggies: carrots, red capsicums, cukes, zucchini, cherry tomatoes, boiled potatoes, etc: add to bowl
    6) dress with olive oil and lime juice or vinegar, add salt, pepper and ground cumin to taste
    7) toss and serve with the best bread you can find...there's a meal...
    ...majestically enthroned amid the vulgar herd...

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  16. #13
    Striver Array Mr Pants's Avatar
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    Vegetable Soup

    Buy a tin of soup from Tesco/Big C/Foodland/Villa/Tops
    Pour the soup into a pan
    Gently heat for a few minutes
    Stir in a can of water
    Serve with bread

    Cheap, easy and delicious

    ---Update---

    Quote Originally Posted by reinvented View Post
    lasher

  17. #14
    Elysian Fields Traveller Array pucky's Avatar
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    Hate apples, but TC have you no taste for mayo? How someone can eat a tuna dish on bread w/o mayo it is beyond me. I litke my tuna to be slightly cooked(no raw for me) before I do anything. For me, tuna-melts are God's gift to humanity.
    "It's called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it." -George Carlin

  18. #15
    Regular User Array Robin Hood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...*sigh* where to begin?...
    Far too complicated with many ingredients that are not usually in the fridge..... Mine, anyway.

    Hence the name of the thread.

    The easier the better. I'm lazy.

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