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^
Here's one for the Americans.
^^ thats a fucken mean pack of dropbears there. The photographer placed hmself in great danger getting that pic!!
Have you ever heard them bonk ?
Man the first time at time it put the fear into me
Their voice sounds like it is comming from a huge animal
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Last edited by re_fuse; 7th December 2008 at 17:45.
picked one up hitch-hiking the other day. Lippy little bastard so I told him to get out of the ute!! Not so tough when they're on their own.
I'll have to take your word about the noise when bonking them....I draw the line at wombats
As advertised on bill boards in Australia
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me tooOriginally Posted by Slim Chance
----------------------------
please help me, my sex change hasn't worked out for the best
Last edited by esoteric1; 8th December 2008 at 02:25. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
I had an Aussie send me this the other day:
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour
__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
____________________________ ______________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal .
__________________________________________________
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France)
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
"Gidday to all our American friends. My name's Kevin and I'm the Prime Minister of Australia. Merle there behind me keeps me in roots."
.
Toddler becomes trapped in toy machineToddler becomes trapped in toy machine
A curious toddler has become the talk of the town after climbing through the prize chute of a toy gaming machine in the Northern Territory and becoming trapped inside.
Couldn't resist his convict instincts.
We could all sit outside on banana lounges discussing the best way to rebuild a 4WD transmission and agree, through shared stories of conquests supporting our assertions, that there is no basis to the proposition that those least assured of their persuasions are the first to condemn others for theirs.
Nah...those are to escape from jail...the kid is just plain thick.
It's a real problem there isn't it?
Once they let their hair grow out and stop shaving.
"Criminal idiots" using gas to blow up ATMS will soon injure someone, NSW premier Nathan Rees said after another two attacks in Sydney's west.
ATMs at Chester Hill and Rhodes were targeted within an hour of each other early on Thursday.
The blasts bring the number of ATM attacks in Sydney to four since Tuesday, and are the latest in a spate of ATM robberies across eastern states.
Criminals pump gas into ATM money slots, before detonating the machines from a distance.
Thieves blow up two Sydney ATMs
Idiots? Or genuises?
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