Ermm..........football. I suppose.Originally Posted by Jellybean
Don't like their weather, their foods not much chop () the women are nowt special, it's too expensive to live there, the beers is OK at times but shite at others, their TV is as bad as Oz, they're whiny, grumbling racists,......err... I'd best stop!
So it's football........that, and the fact that I wouldn't have to answer 'Orstraylier' when civilised people ask me questions like "hey farang, where you from?"
ps...I'm sick to death of the Opera fucking House being the only cultural icon of Ozz!
pps...you work with 'Englishmen'????? I think you'll find they're poms!!
Yeah, well I should have said poms, because somw of them are women.
And no, none are fat.
100% non fat brits????
They must have AIDS or, in the case of Harry's pin up Katie Moss, be strung out coke heads!
Something happens and I'm head over heels
I never find out till I'm head over heels
Something happens and I'm head over heels
Ah don't take my heart
Don't break my heart
Don't throw it away
He's a dickhead Ice, don't worry about him.
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Nope, not one, but we do have one massive Thai girl and several chubbers.
This guy has got to be one of the most intelligent Australians I've come across:
http://dissectleft.blogspot.com/
John Ray (M.A.; Ph.D.) -- former member of the Australia-Soviet Friendship Society, former anarcho-capitalist and former member of the British Conservative party. Postings from Brisbane, Australia.
Torbek: I plagiarize his stuff all the time for the benefit of my pinko commie liberal friends.
I even referenced him on a final comprehensive exam from his writings on "randomness".
Most of my "friends" think I steal most of my stuff from rightwingnews or blogsforbush ... truth is I've been getting the vast majority of my links from this bubba. (Especially when fellow posters ask for a link and I wouldn't give one up)
Fo'sozze my Aussie. :>) (Cats outa the bag now)
Over-protective mummy aren't you?He's a dickhead Ice, don't worry about him.
I'm getting the chicks...how about that.
You don't fool me. The only chicks you're getting are hatched from eggs!!I'm getting the chicks...how about that.
This is why
New Preamble to the Australian Constitution
WE, the People of the broad, brown land of Oz, wish to be recognized as a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional trannie.
We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand) and, although we live in the best little country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like.
We are One Nation but we're divided into many States.
First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte and grand final day. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that it's "livable".
Next, there's NSW. It is the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing gay-boys. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.
Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces.
South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.
Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant in this document.
The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep stations, kangaroos, jackaroos, emus, Ulurus and dusty kids with big smiles. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it on our way to Bali.
And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half-arsed agnostics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland. Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.
We, the Lullaby League of Oz, are united, primarily by the Pacific Highway, whose treacherous twists and turns kill more of us each year than die by murder.
We are united in our lust for international recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy when a ragtag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better than Beijing.
We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political party, albeit a redneck gun-toting one, can get a million votes and still not win one seat in Federal Parliament. Desirable, sure. But fair? Not when you consider Brian Harradine can get 24,000 votes and runs the bloody country. Not that we're whingeing.
We've chucked out the concept of "fair go" in the downsized '90s. Instead, we want to make "no worries" our national phrase.
We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning, in the same breath.
We treasure our politicians, who talk about listening with such persistence it's hard to get a word in. We tolerate our Prime Minister, who is not only short but a Methodist, hanging offences in decent countries. And we like watching Parliament on TV because Natasha Stott Despoja is a total spunkrat.
We, the wicked witches of the land of Oz, want to make it clear this continent is ours and always has been. Mind you, Liberal Party polling shows that there were some people here before Captain Cook so we should address the issue once and for all.
While possession is nine-tenths of the law, our ancestors were fortunate enough to discover that genocide, cultural extinguishment, baby theft and flour poisoning make up the other tenth.
So Oz is now ours and that's that. Our midget Methodist master says we have no reason to feel sorry for killing more Aborigines per capita than the Nazis did Jews and Liberal Party polling says we're OK with that.
Why don't we say sorry? In the words of our PM - because, because, because, because, because. Now, can we just drop the whole thing before the Olympics start?
Phew, with that nasty bit out of the way, we the Brain, the Heart and the Nerve of Oz, want the world to know we have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies and the worst-dressed Olympians in the known universe.
We don't know much about art but we know we hate the people who make it. We shoot, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime. And even though we might seem a racist, closed-minded, sports-obsessed little People, at least we're better than the Kiwis.
Now bugger off, we're sleeping.
My Behaviour is a function of my experience .
My Personality is a composite of my behaviour patterns,of my
traits,adjustments and the roles that I play.
I act accordingly to the way I see things
:-)
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That's pretty funny for a west islander..............
-----
Oh, I don't know, I think we should hire him while he still knows everything. :salute:He's a dickhead Ice, don't worry about him.
Last edited by Covertjay; 29th November 2006 at 10:18. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
"Ka warea te ware. Ka area te Rangatira."
You read far too many threads....You don't fool me. The only chicks you're getting are hatched from eggs!!
Do you keep chooks GC?You read far too many threads....
I was staying at a friend's farm recently, coincidentally, the same night that 50 duck eggs were to start hatching. I woke up the following morning, the proud father of 5 ducklings....25 more hatched during the day while I was at work.
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