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Thread: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

  1. #151
    Senior Member Array DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Posted via Mobile Device ^^I don't do requests

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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Attach a vacuum cleaner tube to your exhaust pipe and put the other end in a vent or window.

    Rev at will.

  3. #153
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    First, build a big greenhouse and move in to that in order to recreate the weather conditions. If it aint hot enuff, buy 74,381 hairdryers, plug all the fuckers into one extension lead before turning them up to 11. Then fill the remaining space with generally dangerous, smelly and annoyingly loud shit.

    Finally, somehow charge yourself more than everyone else in your road to live there.

    Job done.
    We kept waiting
    Still nothing changes
    It's a shame

  4. #154
    Regular User Array colnelkurts77's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Ask all the staff at the local supermarket to close all the tills at the busiest time of day and chat to their friends,walk around ,stack shelves and generally ignore the huge line up.
    Last edited by colnelkurts77; 19th July 2009 at 15:53.

  5. #155
    a man who laughs @ dumbos Array SimonD's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Find a load of 50+ year old men with massive beer bellies and serious alcohol problems.

    Get them to waddle up and down your local high street, three days stubble mandatory, wearing filthy T-shirts and vile 'It Ain't 'Alf Hot Mum'-style khaki shorts that are way too small for them, trying to pick up young women under 20.

    Ta-Daaa! Your very own Walking Street in your own neighbourhood.

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    Arthur Dent watches as the clouds scud away in the lorry's wake. The rain ceases, allowing Arthur to dry off.

    All Rob McKenna knows is that he can't remember his last sunny holiday. All the clouds know is that they love him, they want to be near him, to cherish him, to nurture him and to WATER him. For Rob McKenna is, in fact, a Rain God.

  6. #156
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Dig a 4 foot wide ditch through your backyard and get the family to use it as the toilet and the trash can for about a year...then fill it with untreated water and presto!! Klong-side living at it's best.

    Install bullhorn speakers on random poles around your neighborhood and hook them up to your alarm clock and set it to go off about 2 hours before you actually want to get up.


    have the neighbors teenage son install his kickass stereo system to the outside of his pickup truck and drive around the neighborhood at 6 am blasting 'nobody, nobody, but you' at a volume that begins to distort the sound.
    Last edited by Smiley; 19th July 2009 at 22:49.

  7. #157
    Senior Member Array Nick's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    if u don't like it, go home...etc etc ad fucking infinitum....

  8. #158
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    they're only messing about nickyboy. remember your first few years?

  9. #159
    Senior Member Array Nick's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    was mocking the self-loathers.

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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    kow jai khrap

    next time you buy a chicken, throw the breast and thighs to the dogs. cover your chips in cartlidge, skin and intestines. look surprised and mildly amused when your dinner guests wonder what fucking planet you're on

  11. #161
    Senior Member Array DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Posted via Mobile Device

    Recreate a Nana plaza beer bar experience in your British local by propositioning the landlord each he serves you a pint of bitter.

    For that upmarket 'Thong lor' bar experience, proposition his old wench of a barmaid wife instead.

  12. #162
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    At school.
    Have dogs shit in and around school entrance. Let them gain unrestricted access to all areas.
    Have your mates dress in orange robes and look at you in a funny way when you loose it after discovering the piles. Make sure you step in the largest pile before entering school.
    On entering school premises,ignore all foreign teachers even if they acknowledge you.

    At morning ceremonies check the flag is tangled in ropes when trying to raise. Have kids mumble their way through 3 patriotic songs. Make sure they do this without any passion or emotion.
    At prayers have them shout with emotion but show no passion. Let teachers use their mobile phones whenever there is silence.
    Also make sure the p.a. cuts in and out and have plenty of mic feedback.

    Have a chicken lunch but throw away all the meat and just keep the bones. Put together with hard, dry rice and pour fish sauce on top.
    Drink- 5 parts squash -1 part water, add lots of sugar.
    Desert- 10 parts water -1 part oatmeal. Sprinkle a few raisins/peanuts on top and again thicken with water.

    Make students smile a lot.
    Last edited by William money; 25th November 2009 at 13:13.

  13. #163
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    International school I presume?

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    Avin' it!

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  14. #164
    Senior Member Array Bangkok Phil's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    Have the wife pull your internet connection cable out of the wall every half an hour and wait for ten minutes before putting it back. Get her to do this at the weekend when you're trying to keep up with the football results or when you're about to upload a 20,000 word masterpiece to your blog site. Hey presto! your very own Bangkok internet service provider.
    The worst job in Thailand must be the man who has to sit down with a blue marker pen and mark a number two on the two-baht coins to stop people thinking they are one-baht coins.

  15. #165
    A lousy and daring fellow Array Bubba's Avatar
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    Re: Recreate that Bangkok experience....... in your own home

    God some of you lot have really shit lives.
    Nuts In A Blender

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