totally dood. i spent four years in a facility for sex abuse survivors, and the place was host to loads of toxic families that were textbook studies in manipulation, abuse, silence and guilt. it was almost as if they had read a book, the way they would deflect attention away from perp and victim, and project conflicts outside of the family at anyone else.
if there was a father present with a family, it normally emerged that he was the perpetrator, and the children and the wife would vehemently defend him if his behaviour was being examined. almost always, the victims were smeared and shamed and silenced. the idea of the group therapy was to remove the shame that kept the victims frozen in time, but more often than not, the family group would bail from the program rather than air out the rot.
there was more success with individual survivors, but usually their own self-treatment kept them from examining the horrors. that would be pills and alcohol, co-dependency, denial, cutting or self-harm of other kinds.
after four years i had enough. during my time there as well, the rot in my own estranged family as well as the hillbilly family i was involved with came out, rather dramatically.
when you're in that environment, one tends to see sex abuse and sex abusers everywhere. the awful thing is that it's not usually an illusion.
from the Beast:
The moral of the Jerry Sandusky saga is this: Pennsylvania State University, as an institution, decided that protecting Joe Paterno’s reputation and winning a few more football games was more important than stopping the ongoing rape of young boys.
Of course, no one ever said anything like that out loud. Indeed, it’s likely that none of the many people who knew or suspected that Sandusky was a child molester ever made a conscious calculation that protecting the football program was more important than protecting the boys Sandusky was raping.
Such a level of conscious sociopathic indifference to suffering is fairly rare. What isn’t rare are all the psychological, social, and legal mechanisms that allow someone like Sandusky to flourish in the midst of Our Great Little Town. For at least a decade, and probably far longer, State College was full of people who deliberately closed their eyes to the truth about Sandusky.
Yup - nothing gets in the way of the bottom line.