Thai "Handymen" The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and The Truly God Awful - Ajarn Forum

panhunger · 10th August 2008, 14:55

I recently upgraded to a house. I had lived in an apartment for some four years. It was large and I learned to co-exist with soi dogs, somehow.

Now I live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. The dogs are quieter but they tend to shit in front of my house. Can't imagine what attracts them to layout a load near me. I'm sure many of you have answers for that.

Living in a house, an older house, requires maintenance. My handiness goes only so far. I can cut the grass if I have equipment. I can clean if it wasn't so cheap to hire others to do it. I can even fix the odd mishap around the house.

Whatever my capabilities, a handyman will be needed. In my six weeks here I've had several handymen to mixed results.

Today, the plumbers here. Nice man. His wife is his assistant. He evaluated the problem Saturday, came back today, left after an hour or so and hasn't been back since! There's a hole in my bottom floor ceiling, water and muck on the floor, and splatters all over the wall. Upstairs, the master bedroom bathroom is completely tore up. There's grouty mud, bits of plaster, chips of tile just about everywhere you step...and the guy is no where to be found.

The guy who cuts the grass is nice enough. He's a bit of a butcher and I had to stop his assault on the only tree that gives us shade. He claimed he was making it pretty. I guess Thais think barren twigs are suay maak. He cut the hedge right down to the curb! However, his treatment of the grass was less consistent with clumps of grass left without a trim and weed like growths crawling up the side of the house. But he's nice guy.

The tank guy was an industrious fellow. He vigorously moved the grim around the tank and then demanded 500 baht. I pointed out the filth still clinging to our water tank and the inch high muddy muck at the bottom, to which he replied: 80 percent clean. I gave him 400 hundred, then spent the next three and half hours finishing the job. That tank is so clean you could _______ on it!

The curtain guy is the bright spot in this quartet of handymen. He came in and replaced on the curtains in an efficient manner. He took a lunch and told me where he was going and about how long he would be gone. His job was top notch and worthy of a tip.

Oh where oh where did my plumber go, oh where oh where could he be...

wanghunghigh · 10th August 2008, 15:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhunger

Oh where oh where did my plumber go, oh where oh where could he be...

Sounds like you used the same plumber as me Pan... he never came back but the wife went and found him (drinking with his buddies) and we got most of our cash back... the cash he and his buddies hadn't yet spent on lao kao. Best of luck.

Om Bak · 10th August 2008, 15:11

That was a good laugh

Sounds just like a take out of that Canadian Tv show "Worst Handyman"

Asper · 10th August 2008, 15:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhunger

The guy who cuts the grass is nice enough. He's a bit of a butcher and I had to stop his assault on the only tree that gives us shade.

Common approach in Thailand, I've noticed. Vegetation grows so quickly, why's it matter?

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhunger

I recently upgraded to a house.

I thought you were planning a move.

Welshman · 10th August 2008, 15:56

I live in quite a big house in the boonies. Luckily, my landlord is quite good and will respond to my SOSs regarding problems with the house.

I find that, yes, you can get very patchy service here. The first guy the landlord arranged to cut my grass duly cut it, left all the cutting where they lay and buggered off for a 200 baht fee.

Landlord not happy and got someone else to come in. There's four of them on the back of one of those tractor things with the tools on a trailer. They usually cruise past my gate (I can hear that tractor for miles) and slow down. If I wave to them, they stop, come in and do the job. The first time they cut the grass, trimmed all the bushes, swept up all around the house and took all the debris away. They charged me 250 baht. Call me stupid if you want, but if I find someone who does a good job, then I like to show my appreciation, so I gave him 300 and said keep the change.

Now, when they come, they also trim all my private plants around the outside of the house, on the verandah, around the side patio etc, so it pays.

When I wanted some jobs done around the house, I asked the Thai woman who runs the mooban restaurant. She's married to a Danish guy and speaks excellent English. I'd had some bad experiences with the actual mooban supervisor who'd done some pretty crappy jobs. This woman recommended a guy she uses. I had a burst water pipe, he fixed it. I wanted my windows cleaned - he quoted 1,000 baht which I thought was a bit steep but he was at it for three days. Cleaned the windows, cleaned all the insect screens and even cleaned the window frames and behind the security bars.

I'm also pretty happy with a couple of happy chappies who run a garage opposite my mooban. Once again, I tried them, found them honest and did a good job so now I always go to them. If I have a small problem like a slipping air-con belt or bulb replacement, they'll usually do it and, when I get my wallet out, they say 'No money - free'. I always make sure that I give them 50 baht or so and say 'Beer Chang'.

I find that way, I can keep relying on them.

martyboy · 10th August 2008, 17:05

That's what Thai dogs think of farangs! It's probably also what the Thais think of farangs when they run out of money!

aging one · 10th August 2008, 17:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by martyboy

That's what Thai dogs think of farangs! It's probably also what the Thais think of farangs when they run out of money!

Marty who ya talking to?

wanghunghigh · 10th August 2008, 17:53

Did your plumber ever reappear Pan?

panhunger · 10th August 2008, 18:12

He finished the job and I guess we'll see if the leak stays fixed...but he left a horrible mess that I'm cleaning now...well, taking a break from now...

MisterStretch · 10th August 2008, 19:08

In a way, I'm lucky. While I was artistic, my father was the consumate handyman, electrician, plumber and carpenter. I haven't his skill but I learned enough to do most basic things.

Then I spent some time working with a California industrial boiler outfit, between teaching gigs in Brasil, and I learned more about piping, water and such.

In my house (one of the most shittily designed and built it has been my misfortune to see - wife bought it 3 years before she met me) I do most of the work. In the last week I've regrouted a bathroom, replaced a fill valve in the toilet, replaced 3 flourescent lamps and have done my best to reseat a bathroom tap in the most poorly designed sink I've seen.

If I do hire a handyman...I have the wife get the work quoted before (I'm not present) and then I look over the S.O.B.'s shoulder while he works and don't hesitate to point out when he is short-cutting or fuckin' up. Dad taught me that much, at least.

Pan...if you can't do the simple stuff...you will be screwed by handymen that have less talent than you. Get a few self-help books.

columbia · 10th August 2008, 19:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by panhunger

The tank guy was an industrious fellow. He vigorously moved the grim around the tank and then demanded 500 baht. I pointed out the filth still clinging to our water tank and the inch high muddy muck at the bottom, to which he replied: 80 percent clean. I gave him 400 hundred, then spent the next three and half hours finishing the job. That tank is so clean you could _______ on it!

When the guy emptied our tank it stunk to high heaven. Nearly gag inducing. Guess he must be used to the stench because as he was emptying it he was scoffing down an Isaan sausage as fast as he could right next to the drain.

jonny danger · 10th August 2008, 20:06

Quote:

Now I live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. The dogs are quieter but they tend to shit in front of my house. Can't imagine what attracts them to layout a load near me. I'm sure many of you have answers for that.

Damn Pan, if ever there were a post on AJF I was qualified to answer it's this one.

In 1980 my classmate and GF took a study block (a string of classes) in experimental design. Her street had about 20 houses on it, many of which had been shat upon on a regular basis. We decided to do our core experiment on what might attract a dog to the spot he chooses.

First we went round to all the neighbors and ask them how many family members there were, their gender as well. And we told them our aim and asked them not to remove the shit till after we'd finished "playing with it".

Then we bought a bunch of those kabob sticks and made seven little flags for them, one colour for each week day so that we'd never tag an old pile. We'd come home after school and go around looking for whomever had been left a gift.

Then we placed the flag right there firmly in the mound. Some of them were nasty, as you might expect, some of the fresh ones were still steaming .. anything for science I'd always said.

Pan, if you are thin-skinned please don't read any further.

With very little scientific doubt the shit was just about always on the property of the homes where a man wasn't present; single moms etc. Those that didn't quite qualify were the homes where a woman was householder but had serial visitation by her boyfriend(s).

This deserves a green, you know it does.

panhunger · 10th August 2008, 20:31

That's harsh, dude...but I'll green ya as soon as I spread some around...

columbia · 10th August 2008, 20:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterStretch

In a way, I'm lucky. While I was autistic I learned enough to do most basic things.

That's really heart warming mate.

O.K. 157392373794 x 474834874464 -573836339 =

I'll give you 2 seconds.

Capricious · 11th August 2008, 00:51

I had a Thai handy man "fix" a leak in my roof by drying it with a towel and applying white paint. That guy was fantastic.