I've been living in Bgk for more than 7 years, and have found that in the past 2 years, have become increasingly isolated from other ex-pats. I find myself (esp. in the last year) making excuses not to meet up, or go out with friends, and have started to filter phonecalls. I have alot of Thai friends, but my contact with them is an easy eat dinner, have a drink or 3, bye-bye. I don't know why, but I feel like I am becoming somewhat anti-social, and not so comfortable spending time out with other farangs. I guess my question would be, does anyone else feel like this, and should I be worried?
embrace it .
"A man has got to know his limitations."
Harry Callahan
I do embrace it, thanks, but at the same time am a little worried that I really do avoid social situations like the plague, and am most happy when at home by myself. Actually, would not be so worried if I didn't have my sister who also lives here, telling me I should be worried!
I would guess that you are gradually becoming more Thai in your outlook...
I would imagine, that in the end, you will have a balance of friends more weighted towards Thais, & increasingly less towards falangs... What do most long-stay falangs have in common with ogling backpackers anyway? The good falangs become easy to spot after a few years - the rest I avoid like the plague...
Clearly you have Aspergers. Read the book "The Curious Incident of the Doggie at work at night". You'll feel much better. Me? I go to extraordinary lengths to avoid people I know, take ridiculously long detours home via portchester to avoid folk
By 2005 every previous resident of Warsaw had listed their temporary address as Portswood, Southampton, leading to it's appointment as capital of Poland. It is currently the subject of a hostile takeover bid from the home counties, particularly
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.
I've always been solitary and anti-social :sad: ...
I prefer being at home with my wife and dog to almost any other social setting (with the exception of being with my siblings who are thousands of miles away)
I get aggravated by self-absorbed people who can only talk about themselves.
I get annoyed by close-minded people who are unable to consider opposing opinions.
I have little use for the guy only interested in making money or those too irresponsible to have any.
I do not suffer fools or cheats easily.
I haven't always been anti-social, but it seems, for me anyway, being a social butterfly has more drawbacks than advantages.
I'm aware this makes me appear crusty and really old (I'm 41) -- I don't think I'm either. Rather, I've made a personal decision to avoid idiots, assholes, mooches and the I-love-me crowd.
Do what keeps you in the comfort zone, and don't do what doesn't. I'm much the same, rarely "socialise" anymore (but I'm not in Thailand), friends get concerned (like your sister), but I don't care. I prefer my own company and space nowadays. I don't feel anxious about it but, as I said, those who invite me out constantly (therefore don't understand/know me that well) are, apparently, offended by my polite refusals...I'm surrounded by people and weird situations all week at work, and don't want any of it when I have my own time.
So it sounds like you are choosing your social scene based on the country you are in. For so many Farangs, they feel that they should mix with other farangs only, I think they have numbed themselves to their existence here. They'll leave and when people ask about their experience it will be the shared experience of other Farangs in a foreign country rather than trying to understand this culture. Yes other Farangs will view this as anti-social, but I wouldn't be overly concerned with their opinion in this matter, they probably want to get together to complain about life here and lament about life back home.Originally Posted by stacia
"We're all very different people. We're not Watusi, we're not Spartans, we're Americans. With a capital "A", huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts."
PFC J. Winger
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I'm not comfortable spending time out socially with anyone bar a tiny circle of very close friends. I often say that I don't have the time to meet people but in truth it's that I don't want to make the time.I don't know why, but I feel like I am becoming somewhat anti-social, and not so comfortable spending time out with other farangs. I guess my question would be, does anyone else feel like this, and should I be worried?
I'm a horrible stickler for punctuality and I find that too many farangs arrive late for an appointment and consider it perfectly acceptable. And 80% of farangs just monopolize the talking anyway. I'm by nature a listener and an observer rather than a talker, but I find people rabbit on and on an on and after an hour you're simply exhausted such is the level of concentration you've had to apply in order to stay focused. There's no fun in that kind of one-sided conversation and you're far better staying at home.
The worst job in Thailand must be the man who has to sit down with a blue marker pen and mark a number two on the two-baht coins to stop people thinking they are one-baht coins.
I live in a small country town in Western Australia and do exactly the same thing. I have found that I have been there, done that. When I visit my mates in other towns I go out and mix.
I enjoy it. I have just spent 2 weeks looking after a friend's farm with a raft of usual suspects to keep me busy. Great fun. The wildflowers are out and are stunning, the freedom and quiet is fantastic and I look bloody funny trapsing around the backyard in my wellys and very little else. i know that could be a little TMI but....
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maikhun summed it up well
phil added to it, lack of punctuality and listening to other people's successes or problems is shite, im not interested generally, i'm not a surrogate emotional support.
keep a small circle of close friends, not met many new and interesting people in a long time.
dont abide people telling me to change to fit their ideal of what a happy clappy person should be
thai or other
Serial Wolf Bagger
i've never been very sociable but am even less so here. i have about two remaining friends in the u.k. and one very good friend here and that's fine. i guess my standards are pretty high and i don't suffer fools, of all the foreigners i've met here, i'd say i have no desire ever to meet 98 percent of them again. too many liars, fuckups and mentally weak idiots.
on top of this i'm very busy, work long hours. when i have free-time i either want to spend it alone or with my wife, being quiet and reading. i have no desire to spend it with a bunch of idiots that i neither like nor find interesting.
isolation is nothing to be bothered about. we are all isolated, always. better to accept it than seek something that isn't there.
"...ever wonder why they kill the weak ones, baby?"
I reached a very similar conclusion after 4 years of living here; most people here I find increasingly boring and self-centered. At least if I am self-centered I don't subject other people to its manifestations!maikhun summed it up well
No man is an island or if he is...turn into the Farang Island Resort.
banging the gong...
You lot sound like a barrel of laughs!!!!
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