Now why hasn't DJPat featured on this thread?
Don't have any boyz but I got a lovely girl in M-6. She hates it when i call her nah farang.
As the father of a biracial kid I've learned this: There will come a time when they will identify with one race over the other. If this choice doesn't work out well for them they can always try the other. If that doesn't work out you'll have a problematic kid. Identification with a group is maybe one of the most important tasks for a young duel-coloured one to face. My son lives in a very progressive environment but it wasn't always that way. My grandson is almost six and he still doesn't know what he is ... yet. I'm glad for that.
Food for thought jd.
I'm going to read up a bit on under 10 child psychology as my son is starting to exhibit characteristics like those naughty leuk kreung students. I'll have to learn how to train it out of him, if that is at all possible.
We could all sit outside on banana lounges discussing the best way to rebuild a 4WD transmission and agree, through shared stories of conquests supporting our assertions, that there is no basis to the proposition that those least assured of their persuasions are the first to condemn others for theirs.
Some of the girls at my school are real monkeys....just as bad as any boy. I agree about the spoiling though. If ever anybody wants to know...how to bring up a kid in the right way, all they need to do is to bring them up in the opposite way that 99.99% of Thai parents bring up their kids.Originally Posted by dongintheklong
Most of Thai parents are an absolute disgrace.
My son is 5 years old an is a problem already.
But it's not surprising.
He's spoiled rotten and even when I was in Thailand I couldn't counteract all of the other socialising he was exposed to.
Like another poster mentioned, he's been patted, fawned over and coddled since he arrived in Thailand at 14 months.
I am guessing that at least 10 times a day he is told he is adorable and is often given toys and candies.
A Thai guy gave him the glasses right off his head a few days ago at Khon Kaen festival.
He has been given absolutely free rein.
When he was in daycare, there were about 5 minders for about 20 kids.
One stayed with him exclusively (her choice).
As he got older, about two and a half, he kicked his grandma in the head, as she leaned over.
She simply said, "Tooooony, why did you kick grandma in the head?"
She said the same thing when he kicked her in the head again.
Pretty much the same thing was said when he clobbered his uncle over the head with a block off wood.
The family got so sick of him that they locked their gate; he banged on it for about 2 minutes...so they opened it.
And he's no dummy. So now he just hits, kicks,or takes what he wants. I am the only person he will listen to.
And he is pretty bright and, is one of the rough, excitable leuk-kruengs; which is almost every young leuk krueng boy I have seen...
I will have him out of Thailand shortly.
And so far as genetics are concerned, I think it is the white genes that are a problem; specifically in the Thai environment.
Properly channeled, his (now) 'bad' qualities can probably be his 'good' qualities...
PS. If we want to talk genetics, I should go into how my 100% Thai (step)son performed in his Canadian school. Pretty much as you would expect a Thai to, i.e. very lazy...
Just what my lad is starting to do.Originally Posted by IsaanAlex
I too am taking him out of the country and back home to Australia where, if he tries this crap on his friends they will give him a right kicking for it.
He is well behaved for me, but I don't let him get away with bad behavior.
My wife is no soft touch but she does back down to his tantrums when she should just ignore them.
Thailand is teaching him to be a spoiled brat.
Originally Posted by Lonergood points guys. a lot of boys push boundaries when looking for aythority figures. they push to see who will respond and how.Originally Posted by ElectrO
being rebellious to a teacher simply means that they dont connect to school as a way to identify themselves- thus rejecting the teacher as an authority figure.
i learned this form working with inner city kids- who although are in a different case- they still reject authority a lot---i did this: i acted like a complete regegade when i would take them aside and have a talk. they were a little surprised that an adult would be so 'callous'. they seemed to be drawn to those on the fringes and watched it like a deer in headlights. totally mezmorized.
me acting like a rebel, talking to them: "i dont give a shit if you dont like the assignment. ill assign it a thousand times. if the school doesnt like it, they can fire me. i like being here, but im a man. in fact, ill put the lesson plan on my boss desk."
saying, "if the school doesnt like it they can fire me" ---that creates an 'us and them' between the school-- and the problem kid + you. you need to make a bond with them.
its an all or nothing strategy, and a lot of highly effective inner city teachers have that kind of attitude. they put on a display that they got nothing to lose.
thats not normal classroom managament mind you. but if youre totally out of options with a mixed kid like that. go ALL IN baby!! (or at least fake it)
Originally Posted by My_Kow_Lopethai parents are a disgrace--- and hes been given free reign???Originally Posted by IsaanAlex
anyone want to square these two quotes up???? although from different folk- it seems to be the same way in other cases.
my sisters kid is really non-stop at age 5. he doesnt stop and is giving my sis a REAL hard time. her husband said he was like that as a kid as well- so it may be genetic. but i do see her coddle the kid, with perpetual, "arent you so cute....awww" and all that.
it goes to ones head. it would go to mine, if i got that monring noon and night. id feel like i can do no wrong. mix that with the naiveite of a kid- and there you go.
stfranalum's tasty tips for kickin' ass:
1. keep praise to a minimum. he doesnt need to know how cute he is. once a week maybe. not 50+ times a day. not even more than once. its a cheap compliment and boldens an ego, which is totally a human reaction to constant shallow praise.
2. ignore anything that doesnt have blood or sheer hunger in it. a kid isnt hungry if he ate 4 hours ago. if he is, and wants a snack out of snack time, he can "suffer". the question is, can you suffer the tantrum? you will suffer now or suffer later. choose wisely.
3. set a daily schedule so the kid knows what to expect from a day. use pictures and have a chart. this works.
4. set up rewards- or a reward system. nothing is better than having something simply for the sake of being able to take it away. he will show he doesnt care, but will want some creature comforts on day 4 of the tantrum. and BE SURE to take it away at least once, to prove you arent afraid to do it.
thats my 2-cents
Last edited by stfranalum; 13th December 2006 at 09:24. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
pretty much everyone at my school is spoiled....
...it's hard to differentiate at this point.
The luk kreungs -all of whom speak English fluently-
are quicker to complain and pout in that language
to their farang teachers. Maybe that's part of it.
Judging by most advertisements, I thought all Thais were Luk Kruengs!?
Dont see many Black Luk Kreungs in them though.
Surely in general boys are spoilt and girls disciplined more in Thai culture. Add the "white is good" factor and white skinned Farang/Thai mixed boys will go wild surely? Also if you speak English fluently as you hear it at home and the rest of the class is still on "cat/dog" then you have the boredom factor to face in the classroomOriginally Posted by Umbuku
Another factor I heard was in rural schools Farang/Thai mixed kids get bullied by Thai English teachers as the teacher losses face as the child speaks better English than the teacher.
There are two types of men in the world. Intelligent men without religion and religious men without intelligence. The third type can't count.
Umbuku, I feel for you.
It sounds like we're the same 'place'.
Stfranalum, good points.
One reason, IMHO, that Thai kids get free rein is because they have almost as much common sense , and more staying power, than most Thai adults.
As I mentioned, my Thai family locked their gate on my boy.
And he didn't knock on it for more than a few minutes before they 'gave in' and cracked the thing.
My wife said it was because he was "making too much noise."
Well, who cares.
You only need to do it a couple times and the kids will get the idea that he's not fucking wanted until he smartens up.
And if it happened in the West, pretty much all the neighbors would fully understand the situation, and bear the inconvenience.
Because they know that he's either 'learned' now or they might bave him shitting on their lawns at 16, while pissed out of his skull, or continually mouthing them off and throwing butts over their fence, etc.
The Thais just haven't got the hang of the delayed gratification/delayed rewards thing.
Kinda like how, in the big picture, you work hard and save some money, and then you retire well; not live in a fucking concrete shack all your life, with not even a pot to piss in.
And it all started because no one had the patience to keep the gate locked for more than a few minutes when they were a kid...
Why are most Thai parents not satisfied until they've turned their kid into a complete and utter spoiled brat? Discuss......Originally Posted by Umbuku
My thoughts are that it is related to the buddhist karmic beliefs. The child is following it's karma by being a spoiled little shit and this is the 'proper' thing it should be doing at this moment of the present.
Along with this is 'face'. A tantrum throwing screaming child is seen as an embarrassment for the parents; not as a normal everyday learning process for the child. Therefore the answer is to pacify the child as quickly as possible by giving into its demands to remove the loss of face of the implied bad parenting that the tantrum represents.
I don't think that it's necessarily a "leuk-krung" thing as it seems that most Thai boys are a bit out of control. It's more of a society thing than anything else. I am the father of two leuk-krung boys. They attended Thai schools (Sathit Sunsanandha and Bangkok Christian College) and liked them for the most part. I never heard of any reports of them acting out. I probably would have as wife's older sister was an ajarn at Rajabhat Sunsanandha and very well known at the Demonstration school there as well.
Ok, as a side note. Both kids spoke american english with NO L1 interference, i.e. they sounded just like any other american kid speaking english. They got frustrated with Thai ajarns trying to correct their pronunciation at times when they were young!! My older son told me a story about a year ago of what happened one day at BCC. (This was also told in one of Stickman's weekly snippets from his bag of e-mail) One day the Thai ajarn was teaching and couldn't quite get the passage correct. He then was called to read it in front of the class. She didn't think it was right and said something to him. He then recited it to her again. She had trouble with it. He finally said something, ".................you English SUCKS" all the time giving that infamous Thai smile and in a respectful tone. Hmmmmmm.....maybe my kid does act up a little after all???
great points.Originally Posted by Umbuku
makes me really question how much work and effort it will be raising a kid in LOS. thanks
yeah man...kharma is always in the moment. what you experience now is a product of what youve done. (is that the right way to see kharma? am i wrong y'all???)Originally Posted by IsaanAlex
come to think of it, doesnt that notion of delayed gratification directly challenge the notion of kharma being "in the moment"---i mean if you will get a reward later- then its good and it paid off. but kharma says its bad to have a negative reaction in the moment- hence bad kharma. but we'd say its good kharma, eventually, to hold out and bear the negatives.
this totally blows my mind.
Last edited by stfranalum; 14th December 2006 at 04:51. Reason: Automerged Doublepost