A teacher I once knew called in sick with this:
Teacher: "I can't come in today, cough, I've been up all night!"
Boss: "What happened? You feeling okay?"
Teacher: "Well, I went out drinking with &%$# and, when I got back to my room, someone had written "Redrum" in big red lipstick letters on my bathroom mirror!"
"If you're walking through the jungle and you see a Cobra and an Indian, kill the Indian!"
-Ancient Thai Proverb
"What caused early man to develop? One word...marijuana!"
- Carl Sagan
Clever, very clever... I might actually be in need of a loan, since I lost my job because of all the sickies. Wish you'd have been around a while ago to warn me
I hate answering the 'phone to sickies that insist on doing the sicky voice.
Pardon me if any of there are in the previous 60 pages:
1) A friend is in prison in Cambodia and I'm flying there to bring him the Bible he requested.
2) I started CELTA today. Did I forget to tell you?
3) The girl I barfined on Cowboy last night turned out to be a pre-op ladyboy and I'm too traumatized to come to work today.
4) The girl I picked up on Sukhumvit in front of Robinsons turned out to be underage and now the police are outside my apt.
5) My wife is from the same province as my favorite Eden girl. They met, and now I'm at the hospital for penis reattachment.
6) An Obama supporter has taken me hostage so I can't vote for Romney.
7) I was found reading Paul Handley's book and now I'm in jail.
8) Gungchang is a cunt and I can't get off the sofa.
best work excuse i ever heard was the guy who came on the job sight with his hands balled up and told the boss he can't work today cuz his fingers hurt.
He got fired.