My girlfriend is too clingy. How do I get her more friends?

EP · 31st July 2006 17:02

I'm kind of in a bad situation. I have a 25 year old "goodgirl" thai girlfriend who was living with her parents. Recently her parents moved to northern thailand. She still has the condo her parents owned, but she never stays there because nobody is home. She basically spends all her time at my apartment and is being very clingy. Even before her parents moved away she was like this. It's not that she misses them, she just doesn't like being alone.

All her friends in BKK work six days a week and they just lay around at home on Sunday relaxing or they do errands. She really only sees them on speacial occasions. I told her she needs to make some new friends. She said it's mostly bargirls at the bar. All the other normal girls around her age also work six days a week. She also mentioned that thai parents are very controlling as to where their children go if they live in the home, ever if their children are adults.

How can I find her some friends? I don't want a wife right now, especially since I've only been dating her for five months. It would be great if she had a group of friends she could hang out with on her own and I could do my own thing. I care about her, but this clingyness is getting old. I really don't see her being less clingy unless she has her own group of friends. I learned to take my time with thai women because they really like to rush into things before you know everything about them.

thanks,
EP

*****edited-- She has a job, a four year university degree, and speaks good English. I see her seven days a week which is too much. If she had more friends I wouldn't feel bad if I did things by myself when I want personal space.

**Classic-Chassis** · 31st July 2006 17:08

tell her to get a job!

**mrsquirrel** · 31st July 2006 17:11

Easy

Kick her out.

Then after a few weeks start being nice to her and she will see the errors of her ways

Either that stick it up her arse and tell her that if she doesn't get some friends you are going to make her walk like a cowboy for the rest of her days.

P.S. Is she still a virgin?

**Dude** · 31st July 2006 17:15

Tell her you think you saw a ghost in the flat. Then when she's asleep move things around and tell her you didn't do it. She'll be out of there like a shot.

**DJ Pat** · 31st July 2006 18:02

I had a girl like this once. I slowly started letting her down and more and more often made her stay at her sisters.

Eventually she moved in with her sister.

**tafy68** · 31st July 2006 18:51

Yep she needs to get a job, I agree

**aging one** · 31st July 2006 19:28

Job!! A lot of damn good advice above.

**pumpkin** · 31st July 2006 19:40

Thai girls tend to do things like that. Many of my farang friends have the same problem. I guess it's because they are so spoilt by their parents and never learn to be independent.
Have you tried talking to her about this? Sometimes it works to be straight forward...it might do the trick.

**Matthew** · 31st July 2006 19:47

Originally Posted by pumpkin

Thai girls tend to do things like that. Many of my farang friends have the same problem. I guess it's because they are so spoilt by their parents and never learn to be independent.
Have you tried talking to her about this? Sometimes it works to be straight forward...it might do the trick.

That's the only way I get anywhere on anything important with my Thai GF.

100%, no bullshit, straight dope style. Difficult for a girlyman like me, but necessary, absolutely necessary when you need to make changes.

**DJ Pat** · 31st July 2006 19:55

You need to get straight and no f**king around. If you want her to go, dump all her stuff outside the door, get the spare key off her unwittingly beforehand so she has to rely on you being there to get in, and then take a weeks holiday.

When you get back, problem is weeping at her sisters place, her parents place, or laughing after you at her Thai BF's place.

**jimbo** · 31st July 2006 20:01

Originally Posted by EP

I told her she needs to make some new friends. She said it's mostly bargirls at the bar.

You might want to veer her away from that group.

I'm all for the "job advice" already given.

**Dude** · 31st July 2006 23:41

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

When you get back, problem is weeping at her sisters place, her parents place, or laughing after you at her Thai BF's place.

So much cynicism in someone so young.

**Pinky** · 1st August 2006 00:02

You could get her to join a gym. I understand this kills a few hours. She may also meet some people there. Just depends how "clingy" you are really.

Unfortunately, many Thai women look to you for direction, not themselves.

**LoveBucket** · 1st August 2006 00:03

Originally Posted by Dude

Tell her you think you saw a ghost in the flat. Then when she's asleep move things around and tell her you didn't do it. She'll be out of there like a shot.

brilliant, absolutely first class. i'll remember that one