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Thread: English will be the official language

  1. #1
    Xerographic Detournements Array re_fuse's Avatar
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    English will be the official language

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.



    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.



    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as


    replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".



    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.



    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.



  2. #2
    Pretty Like Girl Array WilliamBlake's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    Ve haff vays ov making you talk.....German.
    This space for rent.

  3. #3
    Still got the Blues Array
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    Re: English will be the official language

    No beero no worko .. Spanish

    How I doin so far?

  4. #4
    Xerographic Detournements Array re_fuse's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    I know nothing I see nothing


    I'm saying nothing untill Arnold makes a comment

  5. #5
    a man who laughs @ dumbos Array SimonD's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    Qué?

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    Arthur Dent watches as the clouds scud away in the lorry's wake. The rain ceases, allowing Arthur to dry off.

    All Rob McKenna knows is that he can't remember his last sunny holiday. All the clouds know is that they love him, they want to be near him, to cherish him, to nurture him and to WATER him. For Rob McKenna is, in fact, a Rain God.

  6. #6
    หนุ่มต่างแดน Array i1der's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    I'm totally confused.
    ลาน้องก่อน พี่จนถึงต้องจำจาก, ถึงแม้พี่จะหลงรัก ฐานะพาพราก ต้องจากจอมใจ
    ถ้าหากมั่งมี แล้วพี่จะคืนมาใหม่, ไม่ว่าจะอยู่แห่งไหน จะนานเท่าไร ยังไม่ลืมบาง...

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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    Shaun Goater is God! Array Monkeyman's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    Er... now where's that Kraftwerk tape?
    Monkeyman
    What about Manchester City? Is it a wind up? Is Sven for real? He's signing so many players we've not even heard of, that I'm genuinely wondering if he's pulling the wool over all our eyes, or if he's just come over here for another laugh!" Paul Merson's views on City's chances in the Premiership this season.

  8. #8
    dia dhuit Array zehner's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    i'm the operator with the pocket calculator

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array stfranalum's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    that was one of the funniest OPs ive seen in a while


  10. #10
    Xerographic Detournements Array re_fuse's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    why thank you

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    Senior Member Array DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    vorsprung Durch Teknikk

  12. #12
    testify! Array joeybadman's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    mein lieblingsgruppe ist das eagles. und du?
    who controls the past, controls the future.
    who controls the present, controls the past.

  13. #13
    Xerographic Detournements Array re_fuse's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    Er legt alle Mädchen flach

  14. #14
    Nothingness Array blackjack's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    Quote Originally Posted by re_fuse
    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
    (Whispers a little too loudly) Don't....mention....the war!
    Or would you like to swing on a star?

  15. #15
    Xerographic Detournements Array re_fuse's Avatar
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    Re: English will be the official language

    Quote Originally Posted by blackjack
    (Whispers a little too loudly) Don't....mention....the war!
    Are you Bananenbieger ? by any chance ?

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