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Thread: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

  1. #1
    Pretty Like Girl Array WilliamBlake's Avatar
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    Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    BedHogs, GreedySleepers, the BedMafia, SheetNazis, or DoonaDespots, call them what you will, almost all the Thai ladies I've known have had this mortal sin in common: Taking up waaaay too much space in the bed.

    Even in hotel room doubles, one has found oneself squeezed into the triangular corner as some tiny Susie Wong spreads her 4'5" frame diagonally across 80% of the available real estate. It is possible (although it feels a tad ungentlemanly) to push them back by turning over and pretending you want to spoon them, all the while thinking "That's it, just a little further now."

    More than once I've come back from a late night visit to the little poet's room only to find that I literally cannot get back into the bed because Poy or Ploy or Noi or the reeeeally gorgeous one who never told me her name, has shifted positions and is now covering more territory than smallpox.

    Anyone else experienced this strange boudoir phenomenon?
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  2. #2
    hiding Array LeedsLeedsLeeds's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    The Wife is guilty of this but then she drops off to sleep so quickly that she doesn't mind me waking her up and asking her to move over a wee bit.

    I've just realised what a boring post that was, sorry mate I'm sure that you are after something a bit more racy!
    Last edited by LeedsLeedsLeeds; 29th May 2008 at 16:29.
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  3. #3
    Pretty Like Girl Array WilliamBlake's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Quote Originally Posted by LeedsLeedsLeeds View Post
    I've just realised what a boring post that was, sorry mate I'm sure that you are after something a bit more racy!
    Nah, it's all good. I doubt this one'll hit 100 posts in an hour like Mahatma's ladyboy thread did, but it is an interesting cultural phenomenon.


    Or at least I thought so...

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    Blah! Blah! Blah! Array kenkannif's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    I just pretend I'm asleep and rip them forcibly over to my side of the bed, possibly chuck in a few 'accidental' elbows to the face as well....'oh sorry babe I was asleep' (my Dad regularly used to give my Old Dear black eyes when he was 'asleep')!

    Better an angry bird than a cold Ken!!!


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    Pretty Like Girl Array WilliamBlake's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    I don't understand. Are you saying you swap sides with her using that method when she's taking up too much room, or are you saying that's 'foreplay Ken style'...

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    Blah! Blah! Blah! Array kenkannif's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    ^ Actually I rewrote the OP for you and it became about hogging the COVERS rather than the bed....sorry about that!!! I'm a cunt!!!

    Still got a few posts out of it!

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    hiding Array LeedsLeedsLeeds's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Quote Originally Posted by kenkannif View Post
    and it became about hogging my foreskin rather than the bed
    You're right KK, it should be a more lively debate now!

  8. #8
    poltroon and blagard Array reinvented's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    pretend yer gonna stick yer cock up her arsehole like shes mahaters LB friend

    as long as she is a she most will move across sharpish at this point in my experience
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    Senior Member Array tomcat's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    ...and if she isn't a she, you have all that space on top to yourself.
    ...majestically enthroned amid the vulgar herd...

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array crew's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake View Post
    Anyone else experienced this strange boudoir phenomenon?
    I've only slept with one but she is guilty of this in the 1st degree.

    To be fair, so are the majority of women.

    Guess they just can't get enough.

  11. #11
    Pretty Like Girl Array WilliamBlake's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Quote Originally Posted by kenkannif View Post
    Actually I rewrote the OP for you and it became about hogging the COVERS rather than the bed....
    Ha! I envisioned you physically pulling your girl over yourself! NOW I understand!

    Quote Originally Posted by reinvented View Post
    pretend yer gonna stick yer cock up her arsehole
    Sound advice. Thank you for sharing!

    Quote Originally Posted by crew View Post
    I've only slept with one ladyboy but she is guilty of this in the 1st degree.
    Did you use reinvented's method to deal with it?
    Last edited by WilliamBlake; 29th May 2008 at 17:55. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

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    Senior Member Array crew's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake View Post
    Did you use reinvented's method to deal with it?
    WB, I don't sleep with lady boys--we're too busy....

  13. #13
    Pretty Like Girl Array WilliamBlake's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Yeah, waxing and doing your make-up takes a lot of time I'm sure...

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array crew's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake View Post
    Yeah, waxing and doing your make-up takes a lot of time I'm sure.
    You know what they say; "pretty like girl"

    Who was that anyways?

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    Senior Member Array Nickyboy's Avatar
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    Re: Bed-Hogs and Broomsticks

    Dear is the same, bless her. I approach the bed, see that she's doing exactly what WB described (the diagonal/80% thing) and start making shapes with my hands coupled with exasperated noises that hopefully intimate that there aint much fucking room for me! SHOVE OVER LOVE!
    I'm everywhere you've never been and better than I've ever been

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