Courting a Thai girl

**kentucker4** · 20th March 2010 09:31

I currently live in the United States and met this Thai girl off an internet dating site who is here on an education visa. She moved her from Bangkok half a year ago or so. We went on a date already...Thai resturaunt and a movie with two of her girlfriends accompanying us. Had a pretty good date. She has been acting hestitant to set up a second date, though.I had a good phone converstation with her two nights ago (last timed talked to her) about her goals and such. She said she wants to meet a guy she can trust for a long term relationship and she will not get intimate with someone until she is seriosuly dating them because she has been burned in the past.

I told her she seemed like a nice girl and emphasized that I would love to meet her for some coffee in about two weeks from now. She said she'd like that .......though earlier in the convo that she said she would have to make sure with her work schedule first. I feel like I am starting to slowly gain her trust. Anyways, I am starting to like this girl and wouldn't mind pursuing a relationship with her. She is going back to Thailand in a few months and so am I to teach English.

I have read on the net courting a tHai woman is a bit different than a western woman. Any tips?

I read you should immediately state your intentions about only seeing her and no one else. Does this mean I should send her a text saying I would like to date only her??? Or is that jumping the gun??? I would like to ne ina relationship with her......do I need to already tell her this??? I don't want to scre her off but also I don;t want to give her the impression that I am not serious.

---Update---

Also, are you supposed to call good Thai women on a daily basis??? I usually make contact once every three days ago....am I slacking here??? How long should the conversations be??? I am not a big phone talker usually....an hour at the most then I'm tired.

**peelieorion** · 20th March 2010 09:56

Crossing the cultural boundaries is very tough but not impossible. the fact she managed to get to America to study shows she probably comes from a well off family. Take things slowly and remain as friends. when you get to Thailand you'll get a truer picture of her commitment and willingness to start a relationship. Fall in love too quickly and you might get your fingers burnt.

**THX 1133** · 20th March 2010 09:56

Go slow and when she's willing to see you without her girlfriends it will indicate trust. The success rate for Thai/farang relationships is pretty low. One reason is language (which may not be a problem for you) and the other factor is cultural differences; that combined with language is not to be underestimated. That in itself is a good reason to take it slowly. Even though her English is very good, I can't stress the importance for you to learn Thai; especially if you are going to live here.
IMO, this culture is difficult to understand for a westerner and will remain more so without Thai language skills. My wife is excellent at English and my Thai has suffered because of it, but, I'm still learning and will continue to learn the language. Knowing the language has really helped me in understanding more about her culture. For a reference; I've been married almost 6 years. Happily, I might add. Good luck.

**Guy Mandude** · 20th March 2010 10:22

I'll give you specific advice: if you want to meet her again, PROMISE HER that you won't invite her to your room during the date. This will put her at ease as many farang jump the gun and are too anxious to get a Thai girl back to their apartment. You should be able to hold her hand if there is some chemistry there, but kissing in public is absolutely off the game card (even though this is the US). If she freaks out because you want to hold her hand, then ditch her. Just promise not to ask her to your room. Thai girl love a guy who is persistent with text messages. Knowing that you aren't a smooth talker, I'd suggest you send her text messages because Thai girls love receiving them...and sending them.

Hope this helps.

**jimbo** · 20th March 2010 10:34

Originally Posted by jonny danger

save Islamic women.

You mean Arabs, Indos, Africans, American Muslims or other?

---Update---

And Mormons..., don't forget the Mormons.

**jonny danger** · 20th March 2010 11:03

Please let me forget the Mormons.

**Cream** · 20th March 2010 11:06

**bewildered wanderer** · 20th March 2010 11:20

Take it very slowly... Most of the Americans I know that met their Thai wife or girlfriend in America claim that they are very different from what they met states-side

**happychappy** · 20th March 2010 12:05

Originally Posted by THX 1133

The success rate for Thai/farang relationships is pretty low. One reason is language (which may not be a problem for you) and the other factor is cultural differences; that combined with language is not to be underestimated. That in itself is a good reason to take it slowly. Even though her English is very good, I can't stress the importance for you to learn Thai; especially if you are going to live here.
IMO, this culture is difficult to understand for a westerner and will remain more so without Thai language skills. My wife is excellent at English and my Thai has suffered because of it, but, I'm still learning and will continue to learn the language. Knowing the language has really helped me in understanding more about her culture. For a reference; I've been married almost 6 years. Happily, I might add. Good luck.

On the flip side of this , I have not learnt the language , my wifes english is not that good , and I leave the " thai culture " to the thais.
For a reference I have been happily married for 12 years , and we go everywhere together.
Just trying to point out that one mans success is not the way to go for all.

**JolieFolie** · 20th March 2010 12:14

Originally Posted by kentucker4

Courting a Thai girl

Lovely, quaint expression. Haven't heard it since I was a nipper. Has to be the sign of a gentleman.

**johnny larue** · 20th March 2010 12:15

Originally Posted by happychappy

On the flip side of this , I have not learnt the language , my wifes english is not that good , and I leave the " thai culture " to the thais. For a reference I have been happily married for 12 years , and we go everywhere together. Just trying to point out that one mans success is not the way to go for all.

Married 11 years and I have no interest in Thai culture as expressed here in America. The frequently mentioned culture clash should be resolved by a synthesis in favor of the stronger.

**Don Ho** · 20th March 2010 13:22

Dude, you can barely scrape up enough money to get over here to take a TEFL course. Do you really think a HiSo Thai girl is going to want a relationship with you? I know this sounds mean or crass but it's reality.

**Mr Pants** · 20th March 2010 13:36

Do it. Moving half way around the world for a girl you've had a couple of dates with is obviously the right thing to do.

**My_Kow_Lope** · 20th March 2010 14:00

Seen a lot of the op's posts on Dave's. The guy is a huge TROLL!

**ssr** · 20th March 2010 14:36

WAIT FOR IT: when she introduces you to Mum and Dad don’t tell them how much money you have, and don’t tell them how much money you make. I am not going to put you off take it slowly. Yeah. Yeah I understand all Thai girls are not painted with the same brush, but forearmed is forewarned. This is how they start all shy etc.

My question is why are bothering with the salad when there is an already filled salad bowl, and dressing here? Hey I am trying to put it politely OK.

KENTUCKER4 do you do a lot of posting on DAVES?

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