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Thread: England 1 Germany 1 At the Half

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    Regular User Array The Quiet American's Avatar
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    England 1 Germany 1 At the Half

    thx der spiegel

    A War of Stereotypes

    German Tabloid Returns Fire with British Quiz






    It seemed an innocent story: Researchers have determined that up to half of all Brits carry a Germanic gene. But when the British yellow press published an unflattering quiz of Germanness, a German tabloid fired back -- aimed at the sun-burned, beer swilling English.


    It all started with an innocent science story published in SPIEGEL, and then in English on SPIEGEL ONLINE . A genetic analysis revealed, of all things, that millions of Britons carry a Germanic gene. Britain, it would seem, is more German than many are comfortable with.


    The British press, perhaps predictably, went nuts. Hundreds of articles soon appeared in newspapers across the country. And the Daily Mail published a tongue-in-cheek story headlined "Time to Embrace Your Inner Jerry!" essentially claiming that Germans maybe aren't all that bad. "The Germans just seem to come here and fit in without any nonsense -- and they don't rape and pillage anymore," the article reads. And tabloid The Sun, always eager for a cross-channel gutter press war, even published a quiz. Sample questions: How often do you wear sandals with socks? Ladies, when your armpits are a little hairy, what do you do? What does David Hasselhoff mean to you? By the end of it, readers are left with an accurate depiction of the myriad stereotypes about Germans cherished in Britain. Germans, it would seem, are fashion challenged, ruthlessly efficient (particularly on the football pitch) and often ridiculous -- an image whose accuracy would be difficult to discount.
    A Quiz for the Real English
    But certainly easy to counter -- at least for Germany's leading mass-circulation tabloid Bild. In service of its ongoing mission to strike back at The Sun whenever necessary, Bild published a quiz of its own on Friday. "Only real English will pass this test," the headline crows next to a picture of an overweight, tattooed man wearing Union Jack shorts. And the best part is: There are no wrong answers.
    How do you most like to drink your beer? A) without a head; B) luke warm; C) by the hectoliter.
    What is the correct way to shoot a penalty in football? A) wide left; B) wide right; C) over the top.
    When are English women at their most beautiful? A) after 12 beers; B) after a day in the sun; C) in complete darkness.


    If you chose all the answers, the solution to the quiz reads, you are the "perfect Englishman."So who wins? Clearly the Brits. Bild seems to have forgotten that if half of those sun-burned, fish-and-chips eating violence-prone drunkards from Britain carry a German gene, perhaps it doesn't reflect terribly well on their own readers.
    But at least the two papers can agree on one thing: Whatever function that traveling German gene might have, it clearly isn't responsible for success at taking penalties.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array kiwiling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Quiet American View Post
    that millions of Britons carry a Germanic gene.
    The Royal Family is German...and they have taken the name Windsor to hide it...and the Duke of Edinburgh is full German and can't even have his name mentioned in the family title...and the Queen and Duke's uncle had to have his family name changed from Battenburg to Mountbatten...but they have lost a couple of decent wars against the English...it must have been the Celt factor that beat them

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    so that would make Kiwi's, what, 1/4 German, 1/4 British, and 1/2 merino....
    Papa was a rodeo - Mama was a rock'n'roll band
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    Didn't you already know this?

    "It may come as a shock to those fond of quoting a world cup triumph and the outcome of two wars as signs of British superiority.

    Scientists say that around half of Britons have German blood coursing through their veins.

    Anybody who paid attention in their history lessons knows that tribes from northern Europe invaded Britain after the Romans left in around 410AD.

    But research by leading geneticists reveals the extent to which the Germans became part of the nation’s racial mix.

    Together with archaeologists who have spent years on sites in the UK, they conclude that 50 per cent of us have some German blood.

    Biologists at University College in London studied a segment of the Y chromosome that appears in almost all Danish and northern German men—and found it surprisingly common in Great Britain.

    Analysis of tooth enamel and bones found in Anglo-Saxon cemeteries supported these results.

    German archeologist Heinrich Haerke believes ‘up to 200,000 emigrants’ crossed the North Sea, pillaging and raping and eventually settling.

    The native Celts, softened by years of peace under the Romans, were no match for the raiding parties from across the North Sea.

    Pottery and jewellery similar to that found in grave sites along the Elbe River in northern Germany has been unearthed in Anglo-Saxon cemeteries here.

    There is also evidence the settlers remained in contact with relatives on the Continent for up to three generations.

    The findings have caused a certain amount of gloating in Germany.

    ‘There is no use in denying it,’ wrote news magazine Der Spiegel. ‘It is clear that the nation which most dislikes the Germans were once Krauts themselves. A number of studies reinforce the intimacy of the German-English relationship.’

    Anglo-Saxon is a catch-all phrase to refer to the invaders of the fifth and sixth centuries AD.

    Angles came from the southern part of the Danish peninsula and gave their name to England and the Saxons came from the north German plain.

    There were other tribes—such as the Jutes, from Jutland, who settled in Kent.

    The Anglo-Saxons drove the Britons into Cornwall, Wales and the North, but a few centuries later faced waves of invaders themselves—Vikings from Scandinavia and then the Normans in 1066."
    “Everyone carries a part of society on his shoulders; no one is relieved of his share of responsibility by others. And no one can find a safe way for himself if society is sweeping towards destruction. . . . What is needed to stop the trend towards socialism and despotism is common sense and moral courage.” Ludwig von Mises

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    Möbius Strip Tease Array Anna Key's Avatar
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    It's the silly season for the British press (though one can be forgiven for wondering if there ever may be a 'sensible' season).

    It's embarrassing. Only the terminally thick - and Jeremy Clarkson -can wank on and on about 'Jerries'.
    "Take this, brother; may it serve you well."

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    dis member Array zeusbheld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Quiet American View Post
    What is the correct way to shoot a penalty in football? A) wide left; B) wide right; C) over the top.
    this one's more about the Dutch actually.

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    Senior Member Array kiwiling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by markle View Post
    so that would make Kiwi's, what, 1/4 German, 1/4 British, and 1/2 merino....
    Scottish is one of the most recognised sources of settlers from the 19th century...but Polynesians probably outnumber that...the Chinese are catching up fast

    ---Update---

    Quote Originally Posted by Papa View Post
    The native Celts
    Originally came from Germany as well...but the Germans kicked them out

    Quote Originally Posted by Papa View Post
    Angles came from the southern part of the Danish peninsula and gave their name to England and the Saxons came from the north German plain.
    True



    Quote Originally Posted by Papa View Post
    Vikings from Scandinavia and then the Normans in 1066."
    Arguably the greatest difference between the British and the Germans...the Vikings settled in much of Ireland, Scotland and England...and the Normans were from Viking stock as well...I don't think you find too many Vikings in Germany...and the Norewgians gave their arses a kicking in WWII as well

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