Thread: Could my bargirl be pregnant?

[LONG POST- BE WARNED]

Hi everyone, just looking for a bit of advice from those who've probably got much more experience of Thailand than myself.

I was on holiday in Pattaya from mid-July to mid-September. Two weeks into my trip I met this bargirl who I spent the rest of the holiday with, so about 7 weeks in total.

1 week into seeing her, she had her period. Thought it was a bit odd that she wasn't on the pill, but oh well, we'd always been using condoms up until that point (despite her trying to go without one from the very first night). Anyway, for the three days she was on her period, I didn't barfine her and went with other girls instead. After she'd finished (which was on August 6th), I barfined her again- and kept her with me for the rest of the holiday, every night.

Anyway, on the 10th August, my resolve finally snapped, and I ended up doing her without a condom. Nervous visit to a clinic followed but thankfully she didn't have HIV. Once that had been confirmed we never used condoms again for the rest of the trip, and I left on September 14th to go back to my home country. She hadn't had another period since her one which finished on August 6th (started on 3rd), which assuming a 28 day cycle should have appeared on about September 3rd. I thought this was a bit odd, but then again not every girl is that regular so I didn't worry too much.

She contacted me last week to say she's pregnant, and is 100% sure I'm the dad. I said it's possible the father could be someone else who she went short-time with while I wasn't around (you know, those few times where she'd 'go room' for 30 minutes, claiming it was only to pick up new clothes from her apartment to move into mine, as we were essentially living together for these 6-7 weeks- I generally assume all bargirls are bullshitting unless I have undeniable evidence to the contrary) . She claimed she never went short-time with anyone else at all while she was with me, and if I didn't believe her, we could go for a paternity test when the baby is born.

I've made it quite clear that I will not be providing any financial support unless she has the child and it is confirmed by DNA to be mine. In other words, I'm not going to pay any 'hospital fees' or anything else while she's 'pregnant'. I told her this was a classic bargirl scam and I wouldn't be falling for it- you know, get the so-called father to pay for 'medical bills' when the girl isn't even actually pregnant at all. I did reassure her however that if the baby was proved to be mine I would help her out with money- but she'd get nothing from me until DNA evidence was provided at a hospital of my choosing (as I'm aware that in some of the worse hospitals it might be easy to bribe someone to get the 'correct' results). I'd hoped that at this point she'd come clean and admit she wasn't pregnant at all, but she seemed fine with my stance and said if I wanted to do a test after the baby was born, that would be fine.

A couple of days ago, she claimed to have stopped working in the bar, and to have gone back to Isaan. She stated her intention was to stay there until giving birth, and that her family would be able to look after her until then. In fairness the last couple of times I've rung her up (without warning) she's answered straight away and the background noise at her end has been silent- whereas in Pattaya at the times I was ringing you'd expect it to be loud and busy- I've been deliberately ringing at peak bar times to see if she'd answer straight away, or have to delay answering until she moved to a quieter place- and if not it'd be pretty obvious she was bullshitting me about going back to Isaan. Obviously proves nothing by itself though, could just be coincidence.

She tells me every day that she loves me (almost certainly rubbish, I know), wants to marry etc etc. To be honest I like her too- a lot- but I'm wary as this pregnancy scam is pretty commonplace in Pattaya from stories you read on the internet. She's 19, I'm 21. Her English is pretty good- she told me she'd been working in the bar for 18 months, so I guess that makes sense. I've never actually caught her lying to me, but of course that doesn't mean it hasn't happened. She knows I have a decent job for my age (earn £30k/year), but I'm not nearly as rich as many of her other 'clients'- and I've pointed this out to her when explaining to her what level of help I'd be able to provide her with if the baby did turn out to be mine. She says she knows this but loves me and wants to keep the baby anyway.

Any thoughts? Could she actually be pregnant, or is this almost certainly one big wind-up attempt to try and get money? Of course, if it did turn out to be mine, I'd stand by her, and she's a great girl in many ways- but I know exactly what they're mostly like when it comes to lying, haha!

Do you ever read Stickman?

Originally Posted by jonny danger

Do you ever read Stickman?

Read a few articles, but I wouldn't exactly say I 'read' his site much.

Originally Posted by tomcat

...definitely: try this post out at SubZero...they're more sympathetic to trolls...

I swear on my life this is not a troll, I'm just looking for some advice.

Good grammar, nice structured sentences for a 21 year old. Where have you been educated?

Originally Posted by buddahas

Good grammar, nice structured sentences for a 21 year old. Where have you been educated?

State school in England, nothing fancy (though I don't want to inadvertently reveal my identity by naming the exact school incase some of my former classmates are reading).

Why Western men often end up with a bad Thai Girlfriend |

Originally Posted by jonny danger

Why Western men often end up with a bad Thai Girlfriend |

I absolutely accept responsibility- it was my choice to barfine her, and even though she was pushing for it, it was ultimately equally my fault that I did her without a condom. Perhaps the fault is even disproportionally mine, given that I've been given education about STI's and pregnancy, while she probably has not.

But it still doesn't mean that she isn't trying to scam me, no?

Originally Posted by tomcat

...I assume you are holding a bible...

Not religious, but...trust me, I WISH this was a troll, and not real life.

^^ Yeah, post a pix of da biatch. Maybe some of us know her.