Thread: Cold Turkey Valentine

Well, Valentine's Day is nigh and, as an adventurer on the Odyssey of the "Eternal Bachelor," I am proud to say the current status of my addiction is romantically clean and sober.

I confess to be a long-time addict. It started for me in my teen years. I was immediately hooked and romantic cravings pumped their incendiary poison through my veins until they consumed all other ambition and turned college majors, jobs, and even friendships into ash.

Many times I tried to quit and lead a normal life. Just as many times what seemed like a mountain of resolve was suddenly dissolved by the lethal combination of heady perfume, lilting laughter, and an inviting smile.

One kiss is too many and a hundred are not enough.

When you find yourself one day with accounts at florists, jewelers and candy shops, when you've just purchased another of those insipid stuffed bears and a decorated ice cream cake, just because it's Valentines Day; when you take her out to dinner even though you've only got about fifty bucks in the bank; when you pay extra for a card with no message so you can stay up for a week writing a poem to put in it (which is ironic because you spent a lifetime learning to write poetry in order to get girls and now they couldn't possibly understand them), you know you've hit rock bottom.

For love, I have crossed continents, betrayed friends, committed felonies (allegedly), slept on couches, made friends with pets and even danced. No degradation is too low when the fever is on you.

If you're lucky, you'll wake up after a Valentine's Day binge and have an epiphany, a sudden clear vision of what has happened to you and what you must do. If you're lucky, you'll find a 12-step support group of similar saps, whose horrendous stories can help to scare you straight.

But be warned. As long as you can still feel trace of how good it felt to be a fool before you realized you were one; if there is any part of you that remains to harbour even a subliminal memory of what the rush was like; if you can still imagine what it was like to want to dance, be warned that the world is still full of perfume, laughter and sweet smiles. Invulnerability may be a noble goal, but it is never a human option.

Nice post Sal. Best of luck in the good fight.

Many times I tried to quit and lead a normal life. Just as many times what seemed like a mountain of resolve was suddenly dissolved by the lethal combination of heady perfume, lilting laughter, and an inviting smile.

Probably best to steer clear of those ladyboy bars for a while.

Probably best to steer clear of those ladyboy bars for a while

Blackjack, you've got to admit, some of those ladyboys are real knockouts!

Stay strong mate, your resolve appears to be weakening. :twogirls:

Goodness me... thanks for the reminder mate...and what was it that the Lord Buddha said?

Oh yeah, I believe he was spot on about right thinking and action, but it isn't so easy for a mere mortal like myself. Hopeless indeed. :sad:

and what was it that the Lord Buddha said?

Not sure mate, I was just pretending to listen. The whole time he was talking I was daydreaming about Lucy Liu.

Don't be like that Harry.